For the past few months, I’ve been having discussions with my acupuncturist, Dr. Carmen, about my status as a single woman. Mainly, how much I love it. In fact, I enjoy being single so much that I couldn’t imagine ever being partnered again. Well, that was until Emma Watson described the perfect and ideal partnership for me: self-partnered.
“I’m very happy being single. I call it being self-partnered.”Emma Watson, British Vogue (Nov. 4, 2019)
Now. To be fair, I’ve lived a lot of life these past forty-two years. From being married and divorced. And since my late teens having either a lover or being madly in love with some man time and time again. Presently, I’m in the final years of mothering my little birdie before she heads off to college in less than two years. And I know these experiences make it easier for me to decide to be self-partnered. For the past forty-two years, I’ve been sacrificing and sharing my time with others. And as I prepare to be an empty-nester, I’m looking forward to focusing and devoting the rest of my life to loving myself.
My ex-husband and I have become close friends these past few years. Since our separation and divorce, we’ve remained platonic and it’s been great. (If you’re a divorcee interested in remaining friends, I highly suggest not crossing the line so things don’t get muddled.) Anyway, the Mr. was the first person I wanted to talk to about my new status:
“How would you feel if I started wearing my wedding ring again—for me?”Christine
I’ve always loved my wedding ring. And even though the Mr. told me long ago the ring and accompanying bands were mine to do with them whatever I wished, it still felt right to ask him if I could wear them in honor of my new relationship. And guess what? We talked and laughed about it, and he gave me his full support! Ah, time surely does heal all wounds. 🙂 As I type this, I’m grinning from ear to ear as I look down at the ring that now symbolizes my marriage to a man who is now a dear friend, surviving our conscious uncoupling (ha!), and this next phase of my self-partnered life.
“There’s no denying how much happier and successful I am as a single woman. So, why should I change that?”Christine
I am currently slowly reading Solitude: A Return to the Self by Anthony Storr. In the book, Storr examines the psychology of interpersonal relationships and the creative individual’s need for solitude. Needless to say, I see myself represented on every page.
So, I stand in solidarity with Emma Watson and all the other folx who are more than “just single.” We’re taken. Totally, completely and madly in love with ourselves. And we’re just fine with that.
Whether you’re married, consciously uncoupling, self-partnered or still trying to figure it all out–have a great week! And love yourself!